As a Buddhist, I try to stay in the moment. As in right this very second. As in right now . . . I am typing. :-)
But even though I try to live in the moment, I still worry. I am not sure if you can be a mother of four and NOT worry. I have one baby (age two) who has some health issues, and one nearly adolescent son (age 11) who has debilitating migraines . . . a teen daughter (17) who's more headstrong than any woman I have ever met . . . and another daughter (age 9) who wants blue hair and plays rock and roll drums (I'm OK with blue hair, for the record, and right now she has polka-dots painted on all her nails and toes). Together, they give me a lot to worry about. Just because that's what kids to to their mothers.
Worry, worry, worry. Now it's things like doctor appointments or their first broken heart, or my teen driving a car, but once it was whether I would get into the college I wanted or how I would do on my SATS, or what the heck was I going to be when I grew up anyway.
So I used to wish for a crystal ball. Or a psychic. Or pretty much anybody who give me a solid answer. Would everything go smoothly? Would I get what I wanted out of life?
The answer is no. Not always. Sometimes yes, yes, yes . . . sometimes a resounding no. A lot of times, though, the no's make you work a whole heck of a lot harder. Sometimes the no turns out to be the best thing anyway. And sometimes, to be honest, life just throws you a curveball that knocks the breath out of you JUST BECAUSE.
And that is what I get from being a Buddhist. Not just staying in the moment, but it is what it is. Life is beautiful . . . just because it's a fantastic glorious ride. And life sometimes, in a word, sucks . . . just because. And after a while, you realize that worrying is useless because what's going to happen is going to happen. And you realize, I think, that you don't REALLY want to know what's around the next bend. Would I really have wanted to know I was going to publish 15 or 20 novels? Have four kids? Marry more than once? Have my heart broken? Have more joy than I could imagine? Nope.
Because it's all about the ride.
So tell me . . . would you want a crystal ball to tell you the future?
But even though I try to live in the moment, I still worry. I am not sure if you can be a mother of four and NOT worry. I have one baby (age two) who has some health issues, and one nearly adolescent son (age 11) who has debilitating migraines . . . a teen daughter (17) who's more headstrong than any woman I have ever met . . . and another daughter (age 9) who wants blue hair and plays rock and roll drums (I'm OK with blue hair, for the record, and right now she has polka-dots painted on all her nails and toes). Together, they give me a lot to worry about. Just because that's what kids to to their mothers.
Worry, worry, worry. Now it's things like doctor appointments or their first broken heart, or my teen driving a car, but once it was whether I would get into the college I wanted or how I would do on my SATS, or what the heck was I going to be when I grew up anyway.
So I used to wish for a crystal ball. Or a psychic. Or pretty much anybody who give me a solid answer. Would everything go smoothly? Would I get what I wanted out of life?
The answer is no. Not always. Sometimes yes, yes, yes . . . sometimes a resounding no. A lot of times, though, the no's make you work a whole heck of a lot harder. Sometimes the no turns out to be the best thing anyway. And sometimes, to be honest, life just throws you a curveball that knocks the breath out of you JUST BECAUSE.
And that is what I get from being a Buddhist. Not just staying in the moment, but it is what it is. Life is beautiful . . . just because it's a fantastic glorious ride. And life sometimes, in a word, sucks . . . just because. And after a while, you realize that worrying is useless because what's going to happen is going to happen. And you realize, I think, that you don't REALLY want to know what's around the next bend. Would I really have wanted to know I was going to publish 15 or 20 novels? Have four kids? Marry more than once? Have my heart broken? Have more joy than I could imagine? Nope.
Because it's all about the ride.
So tell me . . . would you want a crystal ball to tell you the future?
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13 comments:
It all ddepends on what the old ball has to say.
LOL, Lauren. That's a good way of looking at it. :-) Though sometimes I think, even if things look like smooth sailing, then I might . . . I don't know, not try as hard. I don't know.
E
Good point. It pays to stay motivated. OTOH, if the ball is going to say my next book is going to tank, well, I'm not sure I want to hear that today.
I hear you. Maybe, as far as the ball goes, no news is good news.
;-)
Actually, my best friend when I was twenty-two practiced Santeria and took me to a priest in Spanish Harlem. He read my cards/aura, etc. And . . . 99% of what he told me CAME TRUE. Very cool/creepy/neat/don't know what to make of it!
No, I don't think I'd want to see into my own future. If it was bad, it would obviously make me unhappy, if it was good I'd just be too darn impatient for whatever to happen. :) :)
I'm having so much fun right now I don't feel compelled to know what's in my future. But maybe if things were horrible, I might want to so I could see that life would improve at least sometime in the future. I would definitely not want to know when and how I'm going to die. Unless it's very soon because I wouldn't want to leave behind so much dirty laundry. Haha, just joking. :)
Kelly:
Yes, I might be in a rush to win the lottery if I saw that in my future. ;-)
E
Wendy:
My laundry is done. BUT . . . my office filing system is another matter. :-)
E
Well, a long time ago a friend and I went to visit a psychic who told me I’d be moving to NYC (I lived in Mykonos at the time so I thought she was crazy) and then went on to describe the man I’d eventually marry in a very detailed way, including my age when I’d meet him! And all I can say is it felt really bizarre when her predictions started to come true over the course of several years. . .
And I agree that staying in the NOW is not easy! I try to practice this every day- some days being easier than others!
Alyson
Alyson:
Yes, the NOW is so hard sometimes. We are such a goal-oriented society, and there's not a person who isn't haunted by at least one thing from the past. So NOW . . . gosh, it's tough sometimes.
Peace,
E
Definitely not. I mean, of course it would be cool, and if said Crystal Ball did exist I would be constantly tempted... but ultimately better off just taking it as it comes.
Good post, though. Very thought provoking!!!
Although I wouldn't mind knowing if y first novel is going to sell well. I mean, if it isn't, and I'm in the wrong industry, it'd be better to know NOW, dontchya think? :)
Hi Alexgirl:
Nope. Because being a writer is something you ARE not something you BECOME, or a title bestowed on you by a sale or by great sales. So if the first one doesn't do well . . . another one will. Keep the faith.
E
Usually I hate surprises, but as far as my future is concerned, I really do want to be surprised!
Bev
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