One of the topics for this week is books. I’d like to talk about mine, more specifically my writing. Something we as authors don't like to talk about publicly--the hard side to publishing.
We’re already into February 2010 and I’ve just started back to writing after a loooong break. Months, really. The reason? I had many tough changes occur over the last two years in my career, and all of it came to a head at the end of last year. A time that had me questioning if I really had the strength to keep writing.
I had three books that I’d started but I couldn’t move forward with them. There were a lot of factors I really can’t talk about, but it was pretty much a long road of ups and downs.
At one point during my break I said to my husband, “Maybe I’m not cut out to be an author.” He didn’t believe that I was serious. You see, I had a lot of stress since I’d sold my first book back in 2006. Deadlines, lines closing, numbers, promotion, unorganization, yada, yada, yada.
And during the last part of 2009 I just stepped back from it all and it felt…really, really good. It was like my mind took a giant sigh of relief.
Truth: I love stories. I love movies, and television, and entertaining books. I love characters. I have so many ideas that I just wish I could just splash them all onto the computer screen…
But for a time, I just couldn’t.
After months of thinking it all through, I finally came to the decision that I couldn’t walk away from something I love. But there would some changes. I would be a New “Author” me. I agreed that I wasn’t going to worry over things that I had no control over. I told myself I couldn’t please everyone, and all I can do is my best. It’s the same thing I tell my children, but for some reason I couldn’t follow my own advice. (Haha)
Another truth: I want to write stories that make me happy. So I submitted a romantic suspense to a new e-press and they agreed to publish it. It did make me happy. Gave me a little more confidence. My next test was to write a new short story. I finally finished it.
See? Baby steps…
Publishing is not the easiest business nor is it easy to keep everyone happy, not when it relies so much on the business side when some writers (like me!) would be pretty content to merely concentrate on the creative side.
The final truth: So the New “Author” Me accepts this is as a rollercoaster business. You can be riding along, then suddenly hold on for dear life as you maneuver sharp turns, steep dips, and then slowly go up again maybe for the next dive...
Okay, final, final truth: I’m about to start on my next YA novel and hopefully finish it with a lot less pressure and stress on myself. And then? Well, we’ll see what happens next. :)