Wednesday, September 14

What I'm Craving . . . . My Own Shoe

No, I wouldn't wear the shoe in the picture. I haven't worn heels in nearly a decade, I don't think. I DO wear cowboy boots--one pair is fire engine red, the other is worn and gray. Now that fall is here, I will be breaking them out.

But I DO feel like the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe. I have four kids. They range in age from adulthood down to Pirate Boy in first grade. Both my parents live with us. We have two dogs. We have a cat (who used to be called Pumpkin, but when my mom moved in, she HATES cats and nicknamed the cat "Fleabag"--this got shortened to Flea, as in the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and it has stuck). We have a hedgehog. (Again, the hedgehog used to be called Penelope, but now we all refer to her as Hedgie.) We have a snake. A python, actually. A ball python (they are smaller and calm and docile). It is not OUR python. It is my oldest son's python. When he leaves for college in two years, it must go to a good home because I loathe the snake. LOATHE it. Lydia (the snake) started out the size of a pencil. I rather liked her then. She is not, most assuredly, the size of a pencil now and I live my life in mortal terror of her escape, when I am certain she will seek me out (because she KNOWS I loathe her) and eat me. The fact that she really isn't THAT big (three feet or so) matters not one iota. I find my fear perfectly rational.

Anyway, my office is open on two sides. My dad sits in the next room and generally talks to me a lot of the day. This is not conducive to writing. Then there is the fact that I must chauffeur said children to various activities. The homework hour. The laundry all of them create. And so on and so on and . . . .

So I want my own shoe.

A little place of my own to write and escape. To run away from home to. A place that is QUIET. Very quiet. And ALL MINE.

I don't really expect that to happen. And I assume even if I HAD my own shoe, I would miss the chaos a bit.

But it's what I crave and it's my pipe dream after all.

How about you? Ever long for some SPACE? QUIET? What?

21 comments:

Laurel said...

I long for both space and quiet all the time. My blogger profile states the my fondest ambition is for a clean house and my fondest wish is for That Boy I Married to go away, take the kids and leave me in it. Just for the weekend, of course.

I would rather have an empty house to myself for a whole weekend than a basket full of unicorns.

Laurena said...

I want peace and quiet a lot now actually. For the last year or so, I could just hole myself up in my bedroom, and no one would bother me, unless it was time for dinner of course-but then I didn't mind being bothered! :)

But now, my brother moved back home, and he won't give me a moment's peace. I am always on my guard. As much as I love having him back...I would give just about anything to have three hours alone.

So I know what you mean. Only, I don't know if I would miss it or not. haha.

Erica Orloff said...

Laurel:
I wouldn't know what to do with myself if my house was my own for a weekend. I might spontaneously burst into flames! But yes, I long for that!!!

Erica Orloff said...

Laurena:
There are moments of bliss in the chaos, don't get me wrong. But there is something about trying to tap into creativity in the midst of it that can feel wearying!! Peace and quiet. My dream.

Wendy said...

A year or so ago we built a workshop behind our house that was supposedly for my spouse to use for doing "puttering" and for additional storage. He doesn't use it much and it's there with air conditioning and television and SILENCE. I am threatening to take it over if he doesn't start using it and will ban all from entering if I'm in there. So, I'm wishing for my own "shed". :)

Erica Orloff said...

Wendy:
I would kill for a shed with A/C!!!!

Marisol said...

And I thought I was the only one who have this problem!, hahaha. I always wish have a place noiseless, in were I could write in peace. BUT my house is a disaster everyday: I have to clean because nobody do it, I have to cook, 'cause, once again, nobody do it, and when I can sit on my chair and put on my fingers over my keyboard, my neighbors start to scream, to hit things on the floor that impact on my roof, to play with their two big dogs, AND turn on the TV and watch it loud. So, all this noise don't leave me write, and many days I go to bed with my word count in zero. I always wish for a quiet place.
The last year my house was not so noisy, so I could write soooo much (one day, I reached my record of 14.000 words in only one day. It's not a joke). But now my neighbors are so unbearable, I have much things to do in home, and my head is exhausted.
You're not the only one wishing for a quiet place. I understand you a lot.
Sometimes I think writers should have a genie who meets all our 'quiet places' wishes xD

Erica Orloff said...

Marisol:
I think my wish goes back to Little Women and Jo writing up there in the attic. :-)

Stephen Parrish said...

I have my own private space to write, a fully developed attic. It's mine, all mine!

And it's lonely.

sunnynikki said...

I live by myself in a house too big for one. I'd rather have someone to share space with than more space. I would take clean space though, I'm not very organized.

Erica Orloff said...

Steve:

Ah, but you have all these women writers jealous now.

Erica Orloff said...

sunnynikki:
Because of the age ranges of my kids (from adulthood down to six) AND my parents (longevity on my dad's side), I don't expect I will ever have an empty nest. I might imagine it would feel too quiet. Too big.

I am willing to try it though! Maybe a stay-cation!

Heather Kelly said...

I hide in the attic, which is unfinished, and which I lovingly call my office. However, I have to venture down every five minutes or so to make sure that house is still standing beneath me.

Otherwise I walk around the house with the laptop, and join in the craziness.

Erica--I don't remember Jo writing in the attic--I have some rereading to do!!

grier cooper said...

It's tough to juggle all the hats when you're a mom who writes. A shoe sounds like a delightful little sanctuary- provided it has a lock.

Erica Orloff said...

They did their plays up there, Heather. But they called it the "garret." :-)

Erica Orloff said...

grier:
I have WAY too many hats!!! :-)

Starr said...

It would be nice, but since you can't have your own shoe, maybe you can have doors on your office so it's not so open. You'd still miss the chaos. I miss the chaos and bring my laptop out into it. You can't win so just soak it in. (Didn't mean for that to rhyme at all.

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Erica Orloff said...

Starr:
Rhyming is good. ;-)

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