Now, I wear regular sizes, and can shop in any store, and a lot of things fit. A LOT. OF THINGS. I take a bunch of stuff into the dressing room, and after eliminating the weirdly-fitting or non-fitting or ugly things, there's still a lot left that falls into the fitting-and-stylish category. Which is great, and you're probably wondering so what's the problem? The problem is after not having choices for so long, I have a hard time making choices now. I never learned how to do that very well. When I was a kid we were poor, so that influenced everything. As a young adult, there was the size issue. I'm like a person who grew up never knowing if there'd be enough food on the table. Now, if I find an item I really like, I dash out into the store and get it in three different colors, and spring up to the register waving my credit card before anyone can pry it from my clutches, just in case there's never again a piece of clothing that fits me. Or, I buy stuff that fits and looks good on me and is cute and stylish or whatever but then I get it home, wear it once or twice, and realize it isn't "me" and it goes in the giveaway bag. Or I realize I have nowhere to wear it. Or it's not all that comfortable after all.
I have given away so much barely worn clothing over the last few years I could buy a Macbook Air (um, the one with the solid state hard drive) with that money, and maybe one for you, too. Worse, I have gone out to major events that were important to me in brand new clothing that I hated because it didn't help me feel like myself.
The problem as I see it is twofold: 1) I do not have a solid sense of my personal style, and 2) I don't have a good vetting process for clothing when I shop. I'm working on the latter. I'm getting better at forcing myself to not cut the tags off new stuff until I've tried it on several more times at home and am absolutely sure I like it. I'm becoming an expert returner. If I rashly bought a t-shirt in four colors when I only needed one, I'm now more likely to take the other three back instead of stuffing them in the back of my drawer where they can't make me feel guilty. Next step is refining my process so it's taken care of in the dressing room the first time.
The personal style thing is a little harder. I am easily influenced by what is on mannequins or what people who have office jobs wear or what people tell me looks good on me or what Stacy & Clinton say, back when I still had cable. But personal style is more than what "looks good on me." It's who I am, and what makes me feel the most like that. Which is super vague! So it's a process. Meanwhile, folks who shop at the thrift stores near me are probably finding some prettttty sweet deals.
Experienced shoppers who know themselves well: What's your process for deciding what to buy? And do you base it all on a budget? How much do you think you spend on clothes each year? Some tips for wardrobe building and pinpointing who you are and who you are not as a clothes-wearer?
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