crushes: are you my daddy?

When it comes to the topic of crushes, there are a million different stories I could tell. Most of them are extremely embarrassing and many are perhaps inappropriate. Let's just say I fall easily and hard. And you might ask - but aren't you happily married? Yes! That has nothing to do with it! The part of you that gets crushes is not amputated on your wedding day.

Now, I'm going to focus on some of my childhood crushes that could be categorized as Famous Men I Wished Were My Father.

Exhibit A: Bill Bixby. You'd think that I mean the BB of The Courtship of Eddie's Father, but no, I crushed on Bill as Dr. David Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk. He just seemed so...sad! And angry! Kind of like a certain man who lived in my house but was not available by simply turning on the TV, and was at a less safe distance.

Exhibit B: Danny Kaye and Gene Kelly, i.e. The Men of PBS Movie Night. I grew up before the time of cable TV and VCRs in every home, but thank God for Channel 9, our local public TV station, which showed lots of old movies. Such as Singin' in the Rain and The Five Pennies.

In The Five Pennies, Danny Kaye plays a talented jazz musician who gives up his career when his daughter contracts polio. Of course he'd do it again but you can't deny he's depressed and bitter. Then! When she's a teen, daughter finds out about dad's musical past and makes him open a club and then it's all sad until Louis Armstrong saves the day. My dad had a musical past, too, and since I already had a co-dependent savior complex this movie pushed my little nine-year-old buttons. And Gene Kelly was just...swoon.

Exhibit C: Captain James T. Kirk. I don't know. It's hard to explain this one except I must have been watching Star Trek at a time when William Shatner's bare chest and my blossoming man issues and my imagination all collided into a brilliant outer space explosion. I had this recurring fantasy that I was a stowaway on the Enterprise and Captain Kirk found me in the hold (or something) and took me under his wing and brought me to the bridge and I became part of the crew/family. [See also: Captains Von Trapp and Steubing.]

Exhibit D: Pa Ingalls. Covered wagons, leather boots, and good honest sweat. Pa would do anything for Laura, including climbing a mountain or belting Almanzo. Who doesn't want that kind of father?

There were others, but I think I've said enough.

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