Saying "thanks for having me" was a running joke among my friends for one summer. I have no idea why, but we'd say it every time we went anywhere and it was consistently hilarious. To us anyway... But indeed, thanks for having me! I mean it this time. It's really flattering and quite fantastico* to be here among so many authors I admire. (*I overuse the word "awesome" so am trying to make "fantastico" the new "awesome.")
And yes, today is my birthday! I know I have a lot of gray hairs, but really I'm only 24, not 34, despite what you've heard (and despite what my birth certificate says).
And now I shall do some questions from the Proust questionnaire so that you may get to know me somewhat. I sort of want to keep his original answers because he mentioned Pliny The Younger a bunch of times and that sounds so cool. "Pliny The Younger." But I don't even know who that is so I'll do it honestly.
Your favorite musician?
Johnny Ramone or maybe Dee Dee Ramone. Probably all the Ramones.
The quality you most admire in a man?
Humor and a fine mustache.
The quality you most admire in a woman?
Your favorite virtue?
Modesty, because I'm so amazingly great at it.
Your favorite occupation?
When I was a young music writer I got paid in CDs to write about CDs. It had to end, obviously, because you can't eat CDs, but it was a good gig.
Who would you have liked to be?
Pliny the Younger.