Wednesday, April 27

In Erica Orloff's Perfect World

Oh, where do I even begin?

World peace and all that, but that's a given.

1. Three years ago, I had a wild ambulance ride involving my blacking out in the middle of Grand Central Station and fracturing my skull. The cause? Sudden onset of adult allergies--to seafood. I can't TOUCH it. Eat it. I'm not even sure if I can smell it. If I do, I go into shock. I carry an Epi-pen at all times. Which means, the ONE food that brings me JOY, that I adore, that I could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, is off-limits. That's right. Sushi. In a perfect world, I could eat it. Lots of it.

2. As long as we're in a perfect world, there would be an Erica channel on cable. It would play all my favorite shows, and carry all my favorite movies, 24/7. I would turn it on and watch Love Actually. I might next flick it on and see an old movie I love, like The Bishop's Wife. Then there would be my Law & Order BBC version. And all the ones from America with Bobby Goren. Whatever the heck I wanted to watch, it would be on. And it would be on when I have insomnia at 3:00 a.m., which is about three nights a week.

3. I used to think I'd cure my insomnia. But I have to admit, finding an extra couple of hours here and there is groovy. I would just like for my coffee to have not only caffeine but some weird restorative power so that the day AFTER my insomnia bouts, I would drink it and feel fresh as a daisy. It's my world after all.

4. In a perfect world, my phobia of flying would be cured by new technology from Star Trek. I would be able to beam myself where I needed to go. Dinner in Florida with my best friend? Beam me up, Scotty. I'm there. We're eating sushi. It's all good and I still can fly back to tuck in Pirate Boy.

5. Finally, in a perfect world? I would have a rich old uncle leave me a zillion dollars so I could buy a bigger house. My parents moved in with me this week. I have three kids still living at home. It's a tight squeeze. We're busting at the seams. I'd like a house with WINGS. Or at least a couple more bedrooms!

How about you? What's in your perfect world?


Wendy Toliver said...

Wow, Erica! I like the sound of your perfect world. I'm so sorry you're allergic to seafood. My mouth is watering from that sushi photo. Also, love the idea of and Erica Channel.

Erica Orloff said...

Sushi is a gift from the gods, along with ginger ale and Jason Statham.

Melissa Walker said...

I love the Erica channel idea! YES.

Stephanie Kuehnert said...

Great choices, Erica! I also want my own TV channel, preferably one where the shows I love that got canceled keep running. And who doesn't want that rich uncle! Then I could write full time!

Erica Orloff said...

Would be so cool. Right now on insomnia nights, I just channel surf!

Erica Orloff said...

My first one on THAT channel would be Pushing Daisies! I miss the Pie Man!