Wednesday, October 21

Love The One You're With-?

So this week at the café we’re talking about friends and/or boyfriends—which often times, or at least in my case anyway, becomes the same thing.

I can honestly say, that while the bulk of my romantic relationships didn’t end up going the distance, nearly all of them resulted in some really nice friendships (please note, I wrote nearly—there are definite exceptions to this!).

And yet not one of those relationships started as a friendship. They pretty much followed my usual course of initial spark to burning flame to complete and total burn-out to a friendship that while nice, had no lingering smolder or sizzle (or at least not on my part anyway). Which is funny because I’ve written quite a few books where the couple in question start out as either friends or disliking each other entirely, and even though I love the idea of not realizing that the love you’ve been searching for has been right there in front of you all along, it’s never, not once, happened to me.

Which leads me to wonder—has it happened to you? Or is this just the stuff of books and movies?

Sing it out in the comments!


AE Rought said...

I've definitely had the spark/sizzle/fade relationship or three. The love I waited for came along when I had a full dance card of wannabes and wasn't even looking.

The friends to lovers concept is a fun one to write, but I think the enemies to lovers has lots more tension to play with. ^_^

Anonymous said...

As for me I've never had a real boyfriend and well... I'm a Senior in high school... so the idea of having someone perfect right infront of you... well let's just say it's a very surreal feeling... maybe an impossible desire you could say. But you're right... the classic burn out situation i've seen happen... and well... even though that's normal in any universe...
Wouldn't it be perfect to one day realize that the love of your life has always been there and that you've been meant to be always?!
As for moi... doubt it'll happen to me anytime soon... but hey... A girl can dream can't she?!

Laura McMeeking said...

I married my best friend, actually. We started out as friends, both of us not feeling ANYTHING romantic. Then I started to have feelings but refused to do anything about it, because I didn't want to ruin the friendship. He says he was clueless for around 3 years. After much drama (that I may one day write in a book!), we started dating. Right before we got married, I asked when he knew he wanted to be more than friends and he said, "One day, you left my house, and I just knew I didn't want you to leave again." The sweetest thing I've ever heard! So, of course I married him. :)

Unknown said...

Hi Alyson :)
I fell in love with my wife at first sight. I wooed her and won her. It was a wonderful marriage.
All the best,

elizabethfais said...

The most lasting relationships in my life started out with total disinterest or dislike, then moved into friendship, and finally love. All the relationships that started off all spark and sizzle, ended in heartbreak. Which leads me to wonder about the innate truth in romance novels and traditional romantic comedies. Pretty much, as far as my experience goes! ;-)

Alyson Noel said...

AE Rought- Yup, I met my husband when I wasn't looking too--I think there's something to that!

Hey Anonymous- I didn't date all that much in high school either--no worries, there is plenty of time for that!!

Aggie- WOW. That is one of the most romantic lines I've heard in a very long time! You are one lucky lady!

RK- I love this. I fell in love with my husband at first sight too. And I didn't even believe in that sort of thing until it happened to me!

Elizabeth- I love this! I think you're on to something!

Keri Mikulski said...

Hubby - love and infatuation at first sight.. :) Pure bliss.

One was an 'intrigued' at first site and turned into a complete sizzle and now we're not friends at all because of the lingering sizzle and we kind of dislike each other. :)

Most were friends and we ended as friends. And others are foggy. :)

Great question.

Anonymous said...

Me and my boyfriend, of over a year and a half, met by accident. Our mutual friend accidentally added my current boyfriend instead of his cousin to our messenger chat. We had been talking for a month before we went on any date. It took another month after that for us to become official. So, I think the you'll-find-it-where-you-least-expect-it is very truthful.

Alyson Noel said...

Keri- Yup, me too--at first sight!!

Anonymous- Aw, but there are no "accidents" . . .

Melissa Walker said...

I love the IDEA of friends-to-more but it's never really happened for me. I'm all spark and sizzle!

Alyson Noel said...

Melissa- me too!