Monday, March 28

The List of Rejected Lists

This week on the Teen Fiction Cafe, we're talking about Lists. What kind of lists, you might ask? Well, any list really. Top 5 TV Shows, Top 5 Movies, Top 5 Favorite Airlines Ranked in Order of Which One is Least Likely to Lose Your Luggage. So pretty much anything you can present in "list" format is eligible. Now, this is a fairly broad topic. So you could imagine what a challenge it was to figure out which list to include in my post this week. Let it suffice to say that there were several ideas that were seriously considered and soon after rejected.

And as I stared dishearteningly at the multitude of rejected list ideas, I came to the sudden realization that I had, in fact, unintentionally created...well...a list.

So here it is. My "Top 5 Rejected Top 5 List Ideas." Okay, here it goes:

5) Jessica's Top 5 Unflattering Photo Angles (complete with visual aids) - This idea was rejected after taking the first photo.

4) Jessica's Top 5 Cravings While Trying to Not Eat Junk Food - Seeing that I'm currently in a "trying not to eat junk food" phase, this idea was scrapped for its torturous side-effects.

3) Jessica's Top 5 Most Despised Words in the English Dictionary - I tried to write this one. I really did. But I got halfway through the first word and the gag reflexes kicked in and I had to excuse myself from the computer for a few minutes.

2) Jessica's Top 5 Secret Make-Out Spots from When She was a Teen - Although I did actually complete this list, I opted not to publish it after realizing that these "secret make-out spots" would cease to be secret and one never knows when one might find oneself in sudden need of a good secret make-out spot.

AND the NUMBER ONE rejected Top 5 List Idea is....

1) Jessica's Top 5 Excuses She Gives to Her Editor for an Overdue Manuscript and/or Line Edit and/or Copy Edit - I obviously couldn't post this one as there's a very good chance my editor might read this blog.  And if anyone reading this right now just so happens to talk to her, if you wouldn't mind casually dropping into the conversation that you DID in fact see me on the news last week saving puppies from a burning pet store in Honduras, that would be grreeeat.


Alyson Noel said...

OMG- that was YOU saving all of those adorable puppies?? Amazing! Truly amazing! Deadlines are nothing in the face of puppy-saving, well done!

Sharyla said...

What a great and entertaining list of lists!!!

Laurena said...

I definitely found it highly entertaining that you had so many rejected ideas. It was a great idea to compile them for your list.

Amanda Ashby said...

Boooo - I think I need to see the 'Jessica's Top 5 Cravings While Trying to Not Eat Junk Food' list because I still giggle at the post you once did on the diets that you and your husband invent!!!!!!

Jessica Brody said...

Thanks, Alyson. Yes, I'm still a little exhausted from saving all those puppies. Not to mention the burns. But it was well worth it!

And just for YOU, Amanda here it is:

5) Candy bars (there's one hidden in my purse right this second!)

4) Jalapeno Cheddar Pub Cheese from Trader Joe's. It goes with EVERYTHING!

3) French Fries...actually anything fried.

2) Cookie Dough...yes, the DOUGH. I don't remember the last time I actually BAKED a cookie. Although I buy cookie dough at least twice a month. That should tell ya something!

1) Cupcakes!!! They are, and will always be, my nemesis!

Amanda Ashby said...

Jessica - thank you! I feel we are forever linked by our common love of all things junk (and I too have some hidden candy bars that I must eat quickly before my 8 year old son finds them - he is a bit like a truffle pig when it comes to sugar!!!!)

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