But each generation has its own crosses to bear. Not being an adolescent anymore, I can only surmise what those are for people growing up now: a technology-driven world where advances function as dual-edged swords; an ever-increasing pressure to grow up fast.
Whatever the causes of adolescent angst, and there are many more I haven't listed here, I offer up two solutions:
1. Books. I really do believe books can save a person's life. They distract you from pain. They help you figure out solutions. They show you others who have it worse. They provide blueprints for how you can make things far better. They open up worlds you might not have otherwise imagined.
2. One Good Friend. My mother used to say that all a person really needs is one good friend. And I think she's right. Sure, it's nice to have lots of friends - hey, on MySpace I have over 4000 friends! - but you really just need one. One good friend who loves you unconditionally. One good friend for whom you can return the favor of unconditional love. Sometimes, in your darkest hours, that one good friend may turn out to be yourself.
Me, I'm going through a blue patch here. So after signing off, I'm going to take my own advice, since that survival strategy doesn't work just for adolescents but also for old ladies like me: I'm going to phone a friend and then I'm going to curl up with Liza Conrad's EIGHTH GRADE BITES.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT ARE YOUR STRATEGIES FOR SURVIVING EITHER ADOLESCENCE OR WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE RIGHT NOW?
Be well. Don't forget to write.
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14 comments:
For surviving 21, I need friends, family, good movies and books! :) Trips to the beach and lip-gloss also help. ;)
Hi . . .
I think you mean Heather Bewer's (my book is High School Bites . . . ). ;-)
As for surviving . . . gosh, I had such a miserable adolescence and I survived by running away from home in the only way I knew how. I skipped grades, skipped my senior year, got a scholarship and went off to college. Survival was burying myself in books. I, too, had a best friend. Someone I could trust--two best friends, actually. And they are STILL amongst my closest confidantes today.
As for today . . . I pray. A LOT. And I seek solace in the things that make me happy now--friends, nature, books, knitting, my kids, my dogs.
E
Lip gloss, Jessica? Why didn't I think of that???
Erica, sorry for the early-morning typo. I do know that Heather's is EIGHTH, yours is HIGH, I own both, and it's yours that's next in my queue!
I need yoga! I wish I'd had it in high school...
Yoga - there's another good one!
Books definitely saved me way back in the day-- my home life was a mess, I hated being in high school, and books provided the perfect escape- until I could graduate 12th grade and escape for good!
And today, I still look for a really good story to immerse myself in when I want to disappear.
And when I want to feel better, I think about how far I've come, how much has changed, and all the things I have to be grateful for. Corny--but it works!
Friends for me too. One of my closest friends I only see every three years now, because we're over the other side of the world. But it doesn't matter, we're still just as close.... we've been good friends for over 30 years!
Alyson, you're always so perky. It's amazing how often perky/resilient people - like us! - have had hard pasts.
Sara, yea for friends! My longest-running girlfriendship has been 31 years and counting.
Eep... Lauren, that would be Heather Brewer's Eighth Grade Bites. (I'm a fan of Vladimir Tod.)
Your solutions are an absolute necessity for me: books and friends. I needed them getting through adolescence and I need them now.
I'd also submit: writing. In Middle School I used to journal. A lot. It was a great tool for getting all those emotions out. Later, I started making up stories to pour those emotions into. I still turn to writing as a kind of therapy. It's wonderfully calming.
Gerb, yes to writing. And if you look at comments #2 and 3, Erica corrected me and then I pointed out that I had misspoken and that I owned both books but hers - HIGH SCHOOL BITES - was the one I'm reading next. Hey, I'm flu-headed!
Oh, I hope you feel better soon. Such a drag to have the flu in the summer!
And I should read the comments first before commenting! Sorry.
No worries - I often do the same! ;)
Besides friends, which Melissa has already talked about, I think a general belief that no matter how crappy or awkward I feel right now, there is always something to look forward to. I love E. Lockhart's book "Fly on the Wall" (okay, I just love E. Lockhart in general) but she has this great passage towards the end of the book when Gretchen re-humanizes and runs around New York. I believe the quote goes something like, "I left the cafe, thinking that Florida oranges and French pastry were enough to make anybody happy to be alive." Or something like that.
Excellent quote, Gabrielle! I'm a big fan of E. Lockhart too.
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