Thursday, August 7

Anything Goes: Demon Baby

Do not be fooled by the somewhat angelic face.
This child is a Demon Baby.
His exploits are often detailed here.
Some examples of the mayhem he wreaks include hurling an entire GALLON of Costco-sized maple syrup from the second-story landing to the first floor of my house where it shattered into my hardwood floors. I had ants for six months.
He's also hurled his Oldest Sister's (she is 18) $25-a-bottle shampoo out the bathroom window to the dogs in the backyard. We have a Pembroke Welsh corgi with irritable bowel syndrome. Ingested shampoo doesn't make it any better--even ingested EXPENSIVE shampoo.
Demon Baby has written with purple markers all over the upstairs carpet. It's a tan carpet. Or WAS a tan carpet. He routinely writes on his stomach and legs--he thinks that's hilarious. He also thinks spitting is a really cool trick--particularly if he can get it in a trajectory of any sort.
He feeds the dogs bowls of Raisin Bran because it's funny when they eat his food. Did I mention the dog with irritable bowel?
I could go on. And on. And on. But you get the idea.
And I have to WRITE with a Demon Baby. Sometimes, there are days he so addles me that I feel lucky to construct a single sentence. Subject . . . verb. Remember those?
I'm sure some people think being an author involves fuzzy slippers and bon-bons. Mine involves Demons and Syrup.
But every life has those little catastrophes. In order to write full-time with four kids (yeah, apparently, I didn't learn in health class in high school how to prevent that) . . . I use some rock-solid time management. For instance, I don't EVER mindlessly watch TV. I tune in only for something pretty special to me.
So what's your number-one time management technique? I'd like to say duct-taping Demon Baby to a chair. But that would be a lie. He roams freely creating mayhem. So I must use other methods. Please share yours~!

23 comments:

Melissa Walker said...

aw, but he's got such a face! he'll be a bad-boy heartbreaker for sure.

time management: i'm terrible at it. will await others' advice.

TinaFerraro said...

Ditto what Melissa said: he'll be a future bad-boy heartbreaker.

As for time management, like you, I'm a TV minimalist. I also carry a book in my purse at all times because you never know when you'll have a sudden block of time. Still, I don't read as much anymore as I did before I had deadlines.

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Melissa:
I am pretty good at time management--but not household management (laundry etc.). Four kids just . . . well, they make a LOT of laundry and a LOT of mess.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Tina:
Oh yeah. he's got bad boy written all over him.

E

Alyson Noel said...

Who me? Well, I'm just awesome at time management when it comes to writing . . .it's just that EVERYTHING else tends to slide

:-D

And I mean, EVERYTHING!

My plants are wilting in the sun, my laundry tower is reaching for the ceiling, dust bunnies are multiplying like mad, and I know I have a husband--somewhere--but hey-- don't bother me, I'm typing!

Demon baby sounds like a true creative soul--and with a face like that, I'd forgive him for just about anything . . .though I don't envy you the syrup incident . . .

Stephanie Kuehnert said...

Def a bad-boy heartbreaker in the making!

Time management... Um, well seeing as I just killed a whole bunch of time clicking over to read the Demon Baby blog for awhile... Yeah, I'm not so good at it, except for like you guys, nixing TV.

Gerb said...

Awwww. Demon Baby is adorable! And up to something. What was he thinking in that picture, I wonder?

I also have a household with four kids, (one in elementary school, one in middle school, one in high school and one in college so there's always something going on.) The only time management that works consistently for me is to write when everyone else is sleeping!

Of course, this method makes me not so fun during the day...

Erica Orloff said...

Alyson:
Oh . . . the infamous Syrup Incident. I actually call it the Syrup Debauchle. And my plants are pretty wilted, too.
E

Erica Orloff said...

stephanie:
I am ruthless about time-wasters--like I won't sign up for ANYTING (PTA, whatever) unless I am passionate about it. That said, I organize food drives and do a LOT for the poor and other organizations . . . and I mean hours of time each week . . . maybe 20 hours. But again, it's a PASSION--versus something I do because I don't know how to say no.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Gerb:
Mine are 18, 13, 10, and . . . Demon.

I actually do the reverse. I am more a morning person and get up at the crack of dawn and work,

E

danetteb said...

Demon Baby is a cutie.:)

I'm glad mine are all in school and thats about the only time I've got to myself. Once they get home its pandemonium. Three girls two years apart each, love to bicker. I'm glad my eldest helps out around the house though :D

Hugs, Danette

stephhale said...

I feel your pain. I also have a demon baby. I don't even attempt to write while he is awake for fear of the house being burnt to the ground. I do all my writing while he sleeps. I have to laugh when people suggest a sitter or daycare b/c I know he would get thrown out. :)

Sara Hantz said...

Demon Baby is gorgeous..... says she whose children are way past that stage (one of mine definitely leaned toward the demon side).

Time management...... I always get up very early..... best part of the day...... as for managing my time..... LISTS, MORE LISTS and EVEN MORE LISTS!!!!!

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Danette:
I am so lucky that the two middle ones, who are about 2 years apart, never bicker. I think because one's a girl, the other a boy. They are BEST friends, which is just so awesome.
E

Erica Orloff said...

steph:
Demon Baby goes two half-days to pre-school, but not in summer. He's actually well-behaved there (or was last year, this year, who knows?), and Demon Baby's father is on the board of directors there, which--thank God--because otherwise, I would think this year we're destined for expulsion.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Sara:
I am a HUGE list gal myself.
E

Wendy Toliver said...

He *is* adorable!

I only have three kiddos (8, 5, 2--all boys), so I've got that advantage over you. I had to ix-nay some of my volunteering (which broke my heart), and I don't get my nails done. That counts, right?

~Jay~ said...

i luv his badboy lok and ur. sooo successful~

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Wendy:
I volunteer--but I have to love what I am volunteering for. I also choose my hobbies wisely--classes are out for me right now, so I pick things I cna do at home.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Jay:
He is a bad boy. But you can't see it in the picture . . . he also has dimples, so when he smiles . . . .

:-)
E

Wendy Toliver said...

Dimples? Awwwww.

Erica Orloff said...

Wendy:
I know. Utterly deadly combination.
E

Amanda Ashby said...

I too have an angel-faced monster and my happiest moment was when he started school in November!!!! And actually, he has finally started to calm down (phew, I was more than a little nervous at the first parent/teacher interview!).

However, I've got no tips for writing when kids are around. I just did it when they were at pre-school or asleep!