Sunday, September 28

CRUSHES: STARS!


The last time I wrote about crushes here, I probably wrote about boys from school, those crushes that at least have the potential of being requited, however poorly they may turn out. Well, today I'm going to write about that most elusive of crush: the star crush.

Like most females, I had a series of star crushes growing up: the guy who played Don West on "Lost in Space", the guy who played Willie on "The Rookies", Don Johnson (specifically the episode where, at around age 18, he played a bad guy on "The Rookies" - OK, I had a "Rookies" fetish), Mick Jagger. And, like most females, I had some pret-ty elaborate fantasies about how things would go down if I ever got my Big Chance.

All I can say is, thank God it never worked out! I haven't seen the guys who played Don West or Willie in recent years, so for all I know maybe they've held up. But have you seen Don Johnson lately? Like I need that in my life? And Mick Jagger? Actually, given how much exercise he gets, he's probably in better shape than I am. But the dude's old enough to be my (young) father!

Speaking of The Rolling Stones, when I was 12, one of my best girlfriends and I both had Stone fixations. I had 300 pictures of them collaged on one of my bedroom walls. Not because they were my favorite band or my biggest crush - they weren't - but rather, because it was a lot easier to get pictures of them than any other of my crush objects, plus it looked really cool. In terms of the band, I favored Mick, or Bill Wyman. For my friend's part, she was strictly a Keith Richards girl all the way. Now, lest you think "Euww!" at the idea of Keith as a crush object, let me point out that 30 or so years ago he was quite the hottie. One of the best pictures on my Wall Of Stones was one of Keith semi-passed out in a folding chair, guitar across his smooth naked chest, wearing skin-tight jeans that had a strategically placed embroidered strawberry. His face? Angelic, almost pretty, unlined - in short, nothing like the map of the world (and not in a good way) that constitutes his face now.

Speaking of that map of the world face, that's the problem with crushes: they seem like such a good idea at the time, but give them a decade or two or three, and you have to ask yourself, "What was I thinking of???" So Mick Jagger, wherever you are, I say to you now, "Thank you for never noticing my existence in this world"; and to Keith Richards, on behalf of my friend, "Thank you for never asking her to marry you, much as she thought she wanted that. Really, it's all turned out for the best."

Star crushes: the thing is, particularly when you're a teenager, they tend to be so much older than you are, even if you don't notice that in the moment. And by the time you're grown, they're *old*! That's why crushes, by virtue of definition, are transient things; as a rule - which can certainly be broken in special cases - they're of the moment, and not for all time.

That's not to say that a person should give up on crushes entirely, but rather, just enjoy them for what they are. Me, I may have mentioned this guy before? Ooh, darn! I can never insert images properly here, so you'll have to look at the upper lefthand corner of the blog. Anyway, the actor's name is Julian McMahon, that's him playing demon Cole Turner on "Charmed", he currently plays a badboy doctor on "Nip & Tuck" where I am hoping to see him naked soon, and I just Wiki-ed him: Woo-hoo! He's six years younger than I am, meaning a decade or two or three from now, he's unlikely to look like my father; at the very least, he should look no worse than I do. "Hey, Julian, baby! There's a chance for us!"

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHO WERE YOUR EARLIER STAR CRUSHES THAT YOU'RE NOW THANKFUL WENT UNREQUITED? AND/OR, WHO ARE YOUR JULIAN MCMAHONS OF TODAY?

Be well. Don't forget to write.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

My crushes?

Well... I do agree with you that the guy from Charmed is pretty much the hottest (older) guy on TV.

And how can I NOT be in love with Chad Michael Murray and James Lafferty from One Tree Hill? They only play the most sensitive and wish-they-were-real guys on TV. Of course, they're both probably like 10 or more years older than me...

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Chad Michael Murray - isn't he the one who was also on "Gilmore Girls"? If so, *very* cute. Great to have you here, Harmony!

Alyson Noel said...

I STILL love Mick and Keith--even in there current state! Those lines on their faces are like a road map of experience- and what interesting lives they've lived!

I never really go for the pretty ones though--my current crushes include: Jon Stewart, James Roday (in his Psych character mode),Bono, Richard Branson, Eddie Izzard, Dennis Leary, and many, many, more mostly of the older, funny, adventurous type!

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Alyson, good point. I've never been much for pretty boys - you can keep your Tom Cruises and Brad Pitts. I guess my point is that, seriously, Keith doesn't look anything like what his younger self forecast. And, you know, when I'm they're current age, they'll be nearly 80 - too big a spread for me! Funny, when I was 18, they didn't seem too old at all.

Amanda Ashby said...

Oh, star crushes? My favorite subject!!!! My first love was Will Robinson from Lost in Space until I eventually moved onto The Hardy Boys - though don't make me chose between them 'cos they were both so adorable!!!

These days all my loving goes to David Boreanaz and Nathan Fillion though there might be a small Gerard Butler fixation starting to rear its ugly head.

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

"The Hardy Boys"? That reminds me, I used to love David Cassidy, S Cassidy' brother. And once again, now that he no longer has that shag, nada. Oh, no! Maybe I'm shallow???

Monica McCabe said...

Old crushes - Donny Osmond. I thought the world revolved around that guy. The upside is that he has certainly aged well. Still very nice looking.

New crush - Alex O'Loughlin. He played Mick St. John, the PI vampire in Moonlight. He's sooooo gorgeous. And talented. And a voice that gives you shivers. **Sigh**

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Donny Osmond??? That remonds me - Desi Arnaz Jr!

Sara Hantz said...

Clive Owen does it for me at the moment!!!

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Yes! I love me a British accent!

Melissa Walker said...

I'll go for the classic: George Clooney. In his Facts of Life Days, not so much. But now, YES! I'm also a sucker for Tim Riggins on FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Tim Riggins *as played by Taylor Kitsch)? Oh my, yes. I don't even care about the sometines stringy hair.

Allison said...

I will gladly second David Boreanaz (whether he's Angel or Agent Booth) and James Roday from Psych! Also, Curtis Stone from the Take Home Chef...he can cook in my kitchen anyday (though my husband might object).

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Ooh, more new guys for me to check out!

Anonymous said...

One day, when having more than one husband becomes legal, Colin Firth will be my second husband. Granted, neither he nor my current husband know this yet, but I figure surprises are often good things.

I seriously swoon over Colin Firth, and I am NOT the swoon-y type of girl. Can't help it, tough - Bridget Jones's Diary ruined me for life.

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Ooh, Jen, I never would have pegged you as the polyandry type. Did you see Colin Firth in "Mamma Mia"?