Tuesday, June 1

LET’S HEAR IT FOR…FOOD!

Food, now here’s a topic I can really sink my teeth into! Sorry, sometimes I just can’t help myself. But seriously, I really like food. I’m a Taurus after all and we’re well known for our love of food and drink. We’re also supposed to be great with finances and savings but alas, judging from the way my money disappears quicker than a tray of free Buffalo wings during happy hour, it’s safe to say that the stars do not align everything in my character. However, I’ve got the food and drink part covered.

So speaking as an expert – and clearly I am an expert, for what exactly is an expert other than someone who indulges him or herself in an activity that they love daily – I’d like to share with you a few of the things I’ve learned over the years about food. Consider it food for thought or maybe just thoughts about food.

First of all, food serves a purpose in our lives, for without it we all die. So right away it’s got my attention. Imagine if you will that I, like food, served the same purpose, that is, without me you would all die. I’m betting I would live a very pampered and charmed existence. Whatever Greg wants Greg gets. Unlike that annoying customer I had to deal with last week during my day job, I truly would be the center of the universe. (That’s right, Mrs. Stillman, I’m talking about you!)

Secondly, food for the most part tastes good! Some things taste even better than others. Some dishes are even worth spending a whole lot of money for. Then again there are things that people enjoy eating that I find truly revolting. I used to be adventurous, as far as food goes, and would try just about anything. But then, while traveling in Italy I was introduced to tripe (it’s actually made from stomach tissue) and – Oh My God! – I thought I was going to die! I mean everyone’s different but for me tripe tastes like the absolute nastiest case of morning breath magnified a thousand times! Worst of all, you just can’t get rid of the taste! I chugged down a beer and a glass of water and then had to excuse myself from the restaurant because I thought I was going to be sick. I must have brushed my teeth a hundred times that night. So remember: food good, tripe not so good. Trust me on the tripe part.

Thirdly, never assume that just because two different types of food taste good that they will necessarily taste good together. Ice cream, for example, should never be mixed together with any type of meat or fish product. Which reminds me, fish tastes good but frozen fish on a stick are not exactly the summer culinary treats I initially thought they would be. I only bring this up because I wouldn’t want others to lose any of their hard-earned cash on this potential business idea. (I must say in my own defense that the cute little fish-shaped carts I constructed really looked like attention grabbers. I guess it just goes to show that you can lead a crowd to frozen fish on a stick but you can’t make them eat it. Oh, the blisters I got from pushing that cart around all day!)

Well, I guess that’s it for now. I hope I’ve been able to convey a little bit of my food wisdom. Anyone else tried ripe before? And come on, wouldn’t a fresh piece of frozen trout on a stick taste good on a hot summer’s day?

8 comments:

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

If you serve me frozen fish on a stick for dinner, I will not be pleased.

Sara Hantz said...

Omg, tripe!!!! I applaud you for even trying it....

Amanda Ashby said...

Greg, I feel your pain. I grew up with an offal loving mother so not only did we get served up tripe on a regular basis, but there was other such delicacies as liver, kidneys and ox tongue (which she boiled herself and if you've never smelt what boiled ox tongue is like then you're lucky).

Anyway, my brother and I refused to eat most of it - especially the tripe which imho tastes like shoes.

Alyson Noel said...

I always thought I was uber adventurous where food is concerned, that I'd try anything once--until I read your post!

:)

Gerb said...

Tripe (motsu) was one of the offerings at the yakiniku restaurants in Japan, but I could never bring myself to try it. After your description, I'm glad I didn't!

Nikki said...

I think I just threw up a little.

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