Tuesday, September 7

The Staying Power of Best Friends

Oprah and Gayle King, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox Arnette ...

They're best friends and have been for quite some time. So what makes a friendship last?

Sure, it can be nice to have things in common, especially at first. For example, some of my best friends are authors, others are moms, and others work out at the same gym or go to the same church. Then again, some can't write their own Christmas cards, some don't have and never want kids, some have never stepped foot into a gym, and others are a different religion or atheist.

Mencius defines friendship as "one mind in two bodies." I have to disagree. I don't want to be best friends with someone who's exactly like me, who has the same ideas and inspirations and opinions and talents and dreams. Talk about boring! Instead, I like to surround myself with people who are different than me, who see the world in a unique way and help me to expand my mind.

So how would I describe a best friend, someone who will remain a friend for years to come? It's someone I can be my true self around, and someone I truly enjoy being with. Like Megan, my friend for 15 years, who when I say, "I'd love to come over for a glass of wine but I've got to make dinner for my family," says, "Get your butt over here. I have a fridge full of left-overs you can reheat and no one will know the difference." Like Tonya, who I've known for 25 years, and every time I'm back in Denver, she drops everything to see me, even if for a half-hour. And like Christina (pictured in the red shirt, and I've known for 15 years), who can tell if something is wrong behind my biggest smile.

What are the reasons you and your best friend(s) have stayed tight for so long?


Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

You had me at Jennifer Aniston.

Unknown said...

Aw! Cute pic! My bff lives in Chicago and I'm down in South Carolina now so getting together's a little harder than it used to be. However, whenever we can get together, it's just like old times. Love it!

(btw, my word verification word is COWLESS. How sad not to have cows in the world...moo! Okay, random. Sorry!)

Wendy Toliver said...

I know, isn't Jennifer great?!

And Mary, I love it when you get together with an old friend and it's just like old times. Minus getting candy stuck in your braces and hiding boys in the tent in the backyard. LOL

Sara Hantz said...

I've been friends with my oldest friend for 35 years!!!!!! And even if we don't see each other for a couple of years - which we don't as she's in the UK and I'm in NZ - it's seems like only yesterday!

Stephanie Kuehnert said...

My best friend and I have been bffs since my sophomore/her freshman year of high school and the key is communication. We have both learned each other's quirks and how to talk to each other without hurting feelings, but most important, we have learned that if the other person has upset us in some way to *say* it, not let it fester.

I love my bff so much. We even have matching tats that quote a Rancid lyric, "To the end, to the end, I'll journey to the end." that pretty much sums us up.